The Mind Can Kill the Heart
by Shannon My Hommie
Summary: "We had secretly been seeing each other for almost a month. Amazingly enough we had managed to hide it from Russia, god only knows what would happen if he found out." Latvia's P.O.V. please R&R :)
1. Russia

**Latvia can be a girl or a guy depending on what you're into. I made sure of it… I think… yeah. Anyway this is my first Russia/ Baltics fic so hopefully they aren't too OCC! Please R&R **

"Lithuania?" I whispered into the darkness of the shed.

"Yes! Here." He whispered in reply.

I smiled shutting the door. We had secretly been seeing each other for almost a month. Amazingly enough we had managed to hide it from Russia, god only knows what would happen if he found out.

"Latvia." I was taken from my thoughts at the sound of my name feeling two long arms embrace me from behind. "I'm glad you could get away," he said lovingly into my hair. "it's been getting harder."

"What has?" I asked craning my head to look at him.

"Keeping this a secret. It's been getting harder."

"Yes. But-but Liet, why can't we tell Estonia?"

"Estonia would blab in a heartbeat. No, for now let's just keep it between us, ok?"

"Ok." There was an uncomfortable silence.

"Lat, we should be heading inside before we freeze." He gently kissed the top of my head. "I'll see you in the morning, da?"

"Da." I replied. With that we exited the shed and headed back to Russia's manor.

Lithuania, Estonia and I all shared a room, if you could call it that. It was more of a closet near the attic. We had three twin- sized mattresses all shoved together and a dresser on the opposing wall. This made the room especially cramped and uncomfortable, it also left little room for privacy which is why Liet and I met in the tool shed. The final inconvenient thing about our room was that the door can only lock and unlock from the outside. You're in here when the door's locked you're trapped. No windows to climb out of, nothing to hide behind, no fire escape and this far from the city no one's around to hear you scream. You get locked in here you're at the mercy of Russia.

This was the room I entered. I flopped onto the mattress shoved farthest into the corner and waited for sleep to take me to a better place.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I awoke the next morning to Estonia shaking my shoulder. "Latvia." He cooed "You need to start work. It's already six."

That got me up. "Six?" I asked in a sudden panic. I'm never allowed to sleep this late. "why didn't you wake me?"

"well I was going to but Mr. Russia said that you and Lithuania were out working late last night and wanted me to let you sleep.

"R-Russia said this?"

"Yeah?"

"O-oh. Did- Did he say anything else?"

"Uh no" Estonia was looking at me like I was crazy. "Why?"

"N-no reason." I said smiling running out of the room and down to the kitchen. I had to talk to Lithuania.

I found him cooking breakfast on the stove. "Liet!"

"Latvia! Where have you been? Russia would have flipped if he knew you slept in."

"He knows!" I said on the verge of tears.

"That you slept in?"

"No! well yes, but no, I mean he knows about-"

"Latvia, Lithuania!" Estonia called entering the room. "Mr. Russia wants to speak to you two in his office."

Lithuania's eyes shot to mine and we had a mutual understanding; Russia knew.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I was shaking so bad by the time we got to the door I could hardly walk. We just stood there for a moment staring at the wood separating us from him. "Hey," Lithuania said still glaring at the door "everything's going to be Fine." I didn't know if we was trying to convince me or himself, all I knew is that the door was now open and as if in a trance Liet and I entered the office.

"Sir you called for us." the brunette said managing to keep a level voice.

"Da." Came the reply from the Russian. "I need to ask you two a few questions and hopefully you can clear my confusion."

"S-sir?" Liet almost whispered trying to sound innocent.

"You see, I've notice that you two have been coming inside later and later. Why is that?"

"Well due to the weather our work on the estate as gotten increasingly more difficult and-"

"Do not lice to me Lithuania." Russia said with a hostile grin. "You cannot fool me. I know you and Latvia here have a secret and I know what it is, but let me remind you that you _both _belong to me and cannot continue with your actions unless given permission by me. I don't believe I authorized this behavior."

I had scooted behind Lithuania at some point as Russia came towards us locking eyes with me and smiling sweetly. "Why hide little Latvia? Are you scared of me?" he asked grabbing my arm and throwing me to the floor. "You are scarred of me, but not enough to keep you from Lithuania. Why don't we change that?" He pinned me down, both of my hands held above my head by one of his own as he ripped open my coat. "Oh you are beautiful, Latvia." He said running a hand over my bruised stomach. "No wonder Liet has a crush on you. What do you say we make him watch?"

"Russia!" my lover finally screamed. "Leave Latvia alone, I was the instigator of this whole ordeal, take me instead."

As grateful as I was that Liet was willing to take the beating for me I couldn't help but feel a Heart wrenching guilt settle upon me as Russia loosened his grip on me. "Da? You wish this upon yourself?" Russia began to laugh "Well I suppose I can do more to you than Latvia." He grabbed me by my hair and yanked me to my feet, dragging me out of the office to the room we shared. The door swung open to show a surprised Estonia on the middle mattress. Russia smirked at the middle Baltic, tightening his grip on my hair. "make sure Latvia here doesn't leave, Da?" he slammed me to the floor and locked the door. Frantically I started pounding against the wood screaming out for my short time lover.

After about ten minutes I gave up and collapsed to the floor, an emotional mess. Estonia having been watching my emotional breakdown Finally decided to say something. "Latvia?" he said kneeling next to me "Come over to the bed and calm down everything is going to be alright"

"NO!" I screamed at him in a harsher tone than I had intended "It's not going to be 'alright'! He's still in there with him!"

"Who" Estonia calmly asked.

"Lithuania! He's taking my punishment for me!"

"What did you do?"

"Nothing! He and I just wanted, I mean…" I couldn't form the sentence but Estonia seemed to understand anyway.

"You and he got together is that it?" I nodded; marveling in the older's calm insensitivity to my emotional state and situation.

We were quiet for a while until I started thinking "What if he kills him?" I said clutching Estonia, eyes wide with panic.

"He won't kill him."

"Y-you don't know that. Mr. R-Russia doesn't like his property to be t-touched by others. W-what if he loses control, Estonia? What if Liet dies?" I began to cry hysterically as Estonia pulled me into a tight embrace.

"I promise he won't die" he whispered "You will see him again. We should get some sleep, you seem exhausted." Despite the fact that I had only been awake for near an hour and I was still on a high from the events that took place I managed to drift off. Comforted by the warming embrace of Estonia.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was hours before Russia came back to the room. He only allowed Estonia to exit. Saying I was in a "time out" until further notice. It has been two days since that happened. I have not been permitted to leave the room and only see Estonia for Brief minutes when he gives me food. After the two days were up Russia let me out and ordered me to continue with my regular duties. I nodded feeling weak but thankful to be let out of the room.

I ran down stairs to begin dusting when I saw. Lithuania, in the kitchen and stopped dead in my tracks. He looked like hell. He had bruises on his neck and face intermingles with cuts that were only beginning to heal. I approached him carefully my eyes down cast. "Li-Lithuania?" I asked softly he looked up but something was different. "A-are you ok?"

"Fine Latvia. You should get to work."

"But-"

"Now."

I was taken back by his harsh tone but I didn't let up. "What did he do to you?"

"Enough Lat."

"No! Why won't you talk to me? I thought you loved me."

"Yeah well I don't. you should just forget that anything ever happened and move on with your life." He said it so bluntly without even looking up from his cooking. I backed away tears stinging my eyes.

"O-ok" I sniffed. "I-if that's what you want then fine!" I ran out of the kitchen to the tool shed. Cuddled into the corner I cried myself to sleep for the hundredth time that week. He did love me. I knew it. Russia did something, something bad. He changed him he took my Lithuania and left an empty shell. I spent the majority of the day sitting there thinking and crying in _our_ shed.

Thinking, yeah, I should really stop doing that.

**I'm actually proud of this story, cuz they usually aren't anywhere near this long. If you all want more I can write more just tell me I love reviews and I ALWAYS, ALWAYS reply. Thanks! **


	2. Little Talks

**So… I wrote a second chapter to my one-shot :P woops… yeah I liked the idea so I continued it! italics are thoughts BTW! Ok I'm gonna go… have fun reading. **

It was well into the night and far below freezing before I went back into the house. I was confused and depressed but I couldn't find it my heart to be angry at Lithuania. He loves me. I know he does. He has to, I need him to. It's the only thing I have to call my very own in this barren wasteland and I'm not going to let it go.

I managed to drag myself up the stairs and absentmindedly wandered to my bedroom door before I realized. _Oh shit! We share a room…. _Taking a deep breath I pushed open the door.

Estonia and Lithuania were sitting on the mattress. They seemed to have cut off from a very serious discussion when I walked in. Lithuania's eyes were rimmed with red and Estonia looked distressed. The brunette turned from me upon my entrance huddling himself into the corner to fall asleep as the Estonian approached me.

"Where have you been?! We've been worried sick and Russia… well he… was worried as well." He said, his calm tone clashing with the clearly distraught expression on his face.

"I was just in the garden thinking over some things. I'm back now though." I replied, never lifting my gaze from the boy in the corner.

"Yeah and you better stay back." Estonia snapped earning my attention. When he saw the sad look in my eyes his demeanor softened. He leaned back pinching the bridge of his nose. "Look. Latvia, I don't know what's going on but clearly you, Russia, and Lithuania have some things to work out. I don't intend on getting in the middle of this fight but I suggest you stay out of trouble for the time being. Of the three you seem to be the one with the most sanity still intact. Now, let's try to get some sleep, I'm sure tomorrow will be a long day.

I nodded glancing once more to the mass in the corner before shutting off the lights and falling asleep.

***HETALIA***(Yeah I'm gonna be one of _those_ people)

I was awoken at the usual time this morning much to my dismay. 5 AM. If you haven't seen it yet consider yourself lucky. Its dark and cold and seems almost lifeless. It really is a sad excuse for a morning hour.

I looked to my right and found Lithuania had already begun the day, just like him to be overly proactive. Groaning I pushed myself from the mattress as Estonia handed me my list of chores before he too left to begin the day. Glancing down the list I saw the basic demands of my job, dusting the halls, mopping the floor, NOT moving Russia's coat, and so on. I sighed glaring at the crumpled paper in my hand; at least I don't have to be in the same room as Lithuania today. Forcing my legs into action I slipped on my boots and wandered down stairs determined to stay away from both Russia and Lithuania alike.

The atmosphere of the house hung heavy with unspoken tension. I decided it best to skip breakfast seeing as how Lith. made it and well…

I began in the parlor dusting shelves and polishing sliver, re-organizing books, and sweeping the floor. Engulfed by my thoughts and work I failed to notice the looming figure in the doorway until it chose to speak.

"Well, Latvia. I see you're working hard, da?"

I froze at the voice and began to shake, my stutter coming back full force. "D-d-da, M-mister R-rus-sia."

"You know I was very sad to not have seen you at breakfast this morning." He was beating around the bush coming closer to me with every word. He wants something, I know it. "And you vanished last night. Where did Latvia go?" Closer still, he advances toward my shivering form as I begin to take little steps back. "We were all so worried." The smile isn't fading from his face, shit! "Personally I thought you died!" That's not something to be happy about! "My winters are harsh, da?" I felt my back against the book case I can't back away any farther. "Well, seeing as how you didn't die I feel I should make something clear." He slammed his hand into the wall beside my head dropping the smile and letting the purple aura show. "Lithuania is mine and mine alone. He knows that now, I've marked him beyond the point of return. He wouldn't want to go back to you now anyway. Too weak. Latvia is too weak of Lithuania. You are such a boring little country Latvia, I don't know what he saw in you before but I can guarantee its gone now." He pushed away from the wall and sauntered out of the room, stopping at the door way he turned to me, a smile once again on his face "Oh! And if Latvia should forget this little conversation there will be consequences." He nodded and left me alone in the parlor.

It took me a good five minutes to register what just happened but once reality hit my mind it hit hard. I began trembling and sobbing uncontrollably, not able to maintain my standing position and ultimately ending up on the floor. _Russia. It's always Russia. Every bad thing that has ever happened to me had been his fault. It's like he lives to fuck me over, and god only knows what he did to Lithuania. The guy was fine yesterday. Only Russia could completely flip someone's personality in a matter of 24 hours. But it's not like I can do anything, right? Me, Latvia, up against the entirety of the U.S.S.R.? No was in hell is that going to turn out well for me. _

I stopped myself from thinking any farther. It hurts, thinking. I don't like it. It overcomplicates things and makes me anxious. That's why I'm always so spacy. It's just easier not to think. To just leave things alone and act on instinct. But I guess instincts can lead you astray. It was my instincts that told me to talk to Lithuania, to love him. It came easy. No thoughts it just seemed right, and it was… no, _is_.

I sat up wiping my eyes, a determined look on my face. Russia said I couldn't have Lithuania back, but we work together, surely we are still allowed to speak to one another, right? Maybe I could get Lith. To at least tell me what happened. Oh what's that thing those cheesy romance dramas always say? Closure! Yeah I want closure! I want him to tell me exactly what happened. Then I won't have to think anymore!

**Ok so I'm getting hella good at writing chapters over 1,000 words long. I used to have a quota of 500 words per chapter but not anymore! Sorry I'm proud of myself… anyhow please R&R I respond to all! And it helps me get chapters up quicker. I also take prompts and have original works on wattpad details for both on my profile ****. Thanks again! **


	3. Lithuania?

**Shorter chapter. Lots of dialogue. Sorry I told some of you I'd have it up my Monday, but hey. Tuesday is like Monday a day later, right!? No? ok sorry. Well, here it is! **

'**Latvia's thoughts'**

"_**Russia/Latvia's pervious conversation" **_

"Lithuania?" I peeked into the kitchen and began to tremble at the sight of the brunette frying piroshky on the stove. He didn't seem to hear me or he was just ignoring me all together. I slowly stepped into the room, my discussion with Russia and hour prior still fresh in my mind.

"_**Lithuania is mine and mine alone. He knows that now, I've marked him beyond the point of return."**_

'Should I really? He told me to leave Lithuania alone. No. Latvia, he told you to not to have a relationship with him. You already thought this through. Just go over there and say… _something_!'

"_**Too weak. Latvia is too weak for Lithuania."**_

'I wasn't two days ago. Before then he went out of his way to make me feel wanted and needed. He liked my passive nature. Lithuania didn't see weakness.' I straightened in posture, finding myself standing to the left of the brunette. "L-Lithuania?" 'damn it I stuttered!'

He turned to me. A confliction of worry and fear present in his eyes. "Latvia? You shouldn't be in here!"

"But I really need to speak with you!" I tried as he returned to his cooking.

"What is there to talk about? I thought I made it clear." His voice cracked and he wouldn't meet my gaze. Something was off, but what was still to be seen. "I don't love you Latvia! Don't make me say it again!"

"_**I don't know what he saw in you before but I can guarantee its gone now."**_

"I… I know what you said…"

"Then leave I don't want to talk to you."

"But Lithuania! Russia talked to me and said some stuff and-"

"God damn it Latvia!" he screamed turning to me and splattering oil on the floor.

"What did he do!" I screamed back, surprised at my own level of assertiveness.

"Does it matter? You wouldn't understand anyway!" he argued waving his spatula and turning back to the oil once more.

"Yes I would if you'd only tell me-" I pressed

He stiffened "Latvia, for the sake of my sanity and yours, leave it alone and get out of the kitchen." He never turned to me.

Defeated I hung my head, on the verge of tears I whispered "fine" before exiting the kitchen and entering what would be known to me as the worst day of my life.

**Hetalia**

Dusting. I was dusting. Always dusting. Books, vases, tables, picture frames, anything. But sadly for me I was born with a spacy mind, one that doesn't think of things until the last second. No future thought, you know. This proved to be a fatal flaw in my design upon Russia's entrance to the room I was cleaning. It wasn't until his frame completely blocked the only doorway that I realized there was no escape.

"Latvia!" he sang with a smile. "I thought you and I had talked. I thought we understood each other. Was I wrong?"

"R-r-russia! I- I don't-"

"Ah, Latvia it is not a wise choice to lie to me. It makes me angry."

'He's already angry!' I screamed in my head.

"You were talking with Lithuania this morning, da?"

I decided not to push my luck farther than I had. I'd play along so long as it kept me out of trouble. "Da, Mr. Russia."

"May I ask what about?"

I couldn't meet his gaze. I looked guilty and I knew it. what could I say to him? The truth? 'Oh, I was just openly asking him what the hell happened after you dragged me from the room' or should I lie? 'I wanted putra.' Neither of those are going to help me!

"Latvia!" he chide again.

"We were… um… we were just talking about-" no matter how hard I tried I couldn't formulate the correct sentence. Truth nor lie came to me in that moment.

"Let me help you. You were talking about me, da? And the conversation we had this morning. Now Latvia that just happened this morning surely you're not so spacy as to forget something as important as that in a matter of hours. Or," his smile faded. "were you aware of what you were doing?" I stared at him, eyes wide with fear as he slowly approached me. Memories of that very morning's conversation came flooding back to me, but this was different. This morning Russia got to the point but now… now he was playing games, and games with Russia never end well for his opponent. "if you were aware then you must have remembered what I told you would happen if you tried anything. I told you there would be consequences, well, shall we?

**Aright so cliffhanger here but for a good reason. This story can go one of two ways. **

**Nice way w/o written abuse (kinda) **

**Mean way w/ written abuse. **

**Those are the options… eh I'm good with either I've just never written angsty stuff before so it may be a learning curve. Whatever let me know what y'all think **


	4. Blood

**Hey! HI! Hello! So I wrote stuff now. It's my first time writing like this so tell me how I did or what I screwed up. I think its ok. And YES it IS crucial to the storyline I'm BSing as I go along so please don't skip this chapter thanks **** . **

"_**I told you there would be consequences, well, shall we?"**_

My eyes widened as he grabbed me by the collar and hoisted me over his shoulder, that cheerful smile never leaving his face. I began sobbing and pleading as we got closer and closer to his room. He threw open the door and dropped me on the floor. I heard a heart wrenching click signaling the locking of the door.

"Latvia, Latvia, Latvia. We had an understanding, da? But you went against it. You understand why I'm doing this?" he asked picking up a whip from a side table.

"No." It was something in his tone or his smile. Something made me snap.

"No?" He asked, confused, arm dropping to his side.

"No! No, I don't understand!" I cried, defiantly looking up at my captor. "What do you want with Lithuania? What's so bad about us being together?"

There was a thick silence that fell over the room. Neither of us taking our eyes off the other. Suddenly Russia began to laugh. A low maniacal chuckle that emitted no humor and shook me to the core. "Are you really that dense?" He asked fist tightening around leather.

"Wha-"his eyes snapped to mine cutting me off mid-sentence.

"If you and Lithuania get together where does that leave me, huh?" like so many times before he advanced on me.

"I-I don't-"he grabbed the back of my jacket and ripped it from my body, buttons scattering across the floor.

"See, I own all of you. You are one with me and no one else!" his arm came down with a crack and pain emitted from my side. I screamed.

"I thought you wanted happiness!" I cried figuring I was already in trouble it couldn't hurt to use this moment to my advantage. Show him that though I'm small I'm not to be pushed around. "That's what all this 'communist equality' is about right!"

Another crack and howl. "You know nothing! The last thing I need is an alliance being formed. That's what you're doing, da?" *_crack* _"Plotting against me? I know what you were doing! Lithuania confessed it all to me and let me tell you it's not going to work. You are never going to escape me."

"You're crazy!" I managed to scream before he brought the harsh leather down on me once more. The lashes came in so steadily I hadn't time to speak. One right after another they rained down on me. Blood covering the floor and pain filling my entire being. When he finally did stop I was rendered immobile. Couldn't move, couldn't think. Couldn't comprehend his reason for stopping. All I could make out was a blur of green and brown. Russia seemed upset with the blur.

"Stay back!" the Russian screamed.

"Our deal? You promised Latvia wouldn't be hurt and you could do whatever you wanted to me!" the blur replied in an all too familiar voice I was too dazed to recognize. "I didn't think you were a man to go back on your word. But if our agreement means nothing then I'm taking Latvia."

"Don't get too cocky, boy. You're lucky I'm done here or you would have taken the rest."

Russia shoved the green mass aside and exited the room. It came closer to me. My eyes focusing enough to make out the face of my rescuer.

"It's going to be alright, Latvia. I'm here now. You're going to be alright." Lithuania's face was the last thing I saw before being enveloped in the gracious dark.

*Hetalia*

I awoke to find myself on the mattress in our room. Someone had put a shirt back on me and covered me in a blanket. I tried to sit up to further survey the situation only to fall back again. My back hurt like hell and my head felt no better. I could feel enough to know that someone had taken time to bandage me but beyond that I didn't dare to move.

Memories of the events earlier that day came rushing back to me. I began to shake as I saw Russia's face in my mind, slowly drawing closer to me. "Damn it, Latvia!" I chastised myself. "Why couldn't you just do what he said? You always do what he says why pick now to rebel, moron? Now you're stuck in bed in a room that only locks form the outside that he can enter at any time and-"The door swung open and I felt my heart stop dead in its tracks. Luckily the man I saw entering the room wasn't a seething Russia but rather a very worried looking Lithuania.

"Latvia? Thank god you're awake! Is everything ok? I heard you talking to someone. Was Russia in here? Why are you shaking?" questions left his mouth at a rapid pace, only making the pounding in my head worsen.

"I'm ok." I managed to mutter tying to lift a hand to my head.

"Does it hurt?" he asked in a softer tone. Sitting down beside me and stroking my hair.

"Y-yeah. A lot."

"I'm sorry he did this to you." He said looking down at the floor. "I should have been there. I should have protected you. I'm sorry."

"Wait. I thought you hated me. Why would you want to protect me?"

He cast a sweet smile down to me. "Latvia, I don't hate you, I could never hate you. I actually don't think it's possible for me to hate anyone. Nyet, Latvia, I don't hate you. How could I hate the best thing that's ever happened to me?" he leaned down over me and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. I couldn't think. Everything was so confusing. But I was exhausted so I decided to put off my lover's interrogation until tomorrow and sleep; for once thinking of nothing but the sweet fact that Lithuania was mine once again.

**So yeah. I wrote Russia. It was my first time so tell me if you liked it and I'll try to have the next chapter up soon****. Thanks! And if you like my writing please see my works on Wattpad. There's a link on my profile! **


	5. Bedridden

**Yo! Hi! Wow it's been a while. Sorry… but lookie lookie new chapter! Yay! Ok I'm gunna bail… ttyl! **

I was running. Running faster than I thought possible, my breath coming in short spurts and my legs threatening to give out at any moment, but I had to keep going. If I didn't he'd get me. Who's he? I don't know. He's scary though and if he gets me it'll be bad. He hurt Liet. He hurt _my _Lithuania. And when he did… he laughed. Every time metal hit flesh he laughed as blood dyed the floorboards he laughed and when Toris lost consciousness he laughed! He laughed and laughed and laughed! All I would do was watch and when it was finally over he turned to me, finally showing his face. "Well Latvia. Who's going to protect you now?"

I bolted upright in the bed, covered in a cool sweat and panting hard. Pain started to register as my adrenalin dissipated and I laid my head back to the mattress_. What the hell was that? …No, seriously. That was a dream, right? That didn't really happen, right?_ My head started throbbing I clutched it and groaned. _Why me? _"God I'm such a moron!"

"Latvia?" a soft voice mumbled from beside me. My head whipped to the right to be met with a pair of concerned green eyes. "Are you okay? You suddenly started thrashing and yelling."

"O-oh. Sorry." I whispered turning away from him. I didn't want to admit it but despite him saving me I still felt resentful. Had he just told me what happened I wouldn't have gone as far as to yell at Russia.

"No don't be sorry. Are you alright?" I flinched at his tone of voice, so kind, so caring and worried… for me.

"Yeah, yeah I'm… I…" I can't lie to that voice. I won't lie to him like he lies to me. For once in my meaningless life I'm going to be the bigger person and face this… whatever it is. "No."

I felt him tense next to me and push himself to a sitting position. "No?" he sighed, "Well I suppose it'll take some time, Russia really did a number on yo-"

"It's not because of Russia!" I screamed whipping my head to meet his gaze. The movement hurt like hell but I needed to stand strong if I was going to get my point across. "I don't blame Russia for what happened to me Toris! He may have provoked the situation but as of right now I can't bring myself to think that it's all his fault! It can't be!"

"Ravis, calm down."

"No! I don't want to calm down! What happened Toris? What?"

"Look, all you need to know is that it's for your benefit. What I'm doing, I'm doing in order to protect you."

"Protect me?! How's that going Toris? 'Cuz last time I checked I was bedridden and bleeding because of you!" he recoiled as if he'd been slapped.

"Y-you blame me?"

"I…" Suddenly, I couldn't meet his gaze. His eyes were so hurt and broken, more so than when Poland left him. I felt overwhelming waves of guilt wash over me. _It's not like it's actually his fault. And since when do you go around yelling at people? But still, if he was trying to protect me then he must have kept an eye on me, and if he kept an eye on me then he must have seen Russia's advances and if he saw Russia's advances… what the hell took him so long to stop the whipping? "_Yes." I answered staring at my hands. There was an overbearing silence before Lithuania slowly stood and walked to the door.

"Россия ждет меня . спокойной ночи Латвии." I watched him go. The guilt I felt rested in my stomach turning again and again. He was going back to Russia. Again, he was going back to that monster for me, but why? I don't want him to. I don't even know what goes on when he's there. I should be stronger, I should be braver but I'm not. I'm broken and kept from healing by an eastern force far bigger than I can comprehend.

I sighed, laid my throbbing head back on the pillow and fall asleep. My worries could wait till morning.

*Hetalia*

(Lithuania Pov)

Well, here's the door. Mahogany: a warm wood if used as anything but the barrier between Lucifer and myself. Russia had told me to come back else he would hurt Latvia, and so, I've complied. Like a dog I've come every night to this place of terror and remorse only to feel regret in the morning. As if what I'm doing isn't going to change a thing in the long run, like my suffering doesn't matter. I would have stopped long ago if not for the fear I hold for Latvia.

Taking a sharp breath I raise my fist and lightly tap the door.

"Enter." I hear in reply.

I shove open the heavy wood, and walk into the office, standing as tall as I can before my tormenter.

"So, Litva, even after the day's events you show up at my door." He stood towering over me, making me feel even smaller. "Why are you here, Litva? I broke the promise, da? Yet you don't seem mad." _Mad? I don't do mad. But if I did… god damn it has his nose always resembled a target? "_I suppose you were worried. For Latvia's sake, that is."

My eyes hardened. "Wh-what do you mean?"

"Well I was thinking. If you didn't show up tonight, which I wasn't expecting you too, to be honest, I would have marched right up to your room and stolen little Latvia in your place." He smiled at me advancing, his hand snaked into his coat. "So, Litva with that in mind is there something you wanted to speak with me about?"

_Yes! Is there something I want to speak with you about? Uh, how about you broke our contract and the last week as been for nothing 'cuz Latvia still ended up a bloody mess and blames me for it! _But I couldn't say that. He'd go for Latvia if I said that. So I shook my head in defeat. He chuckled.

"In that case," he pulled the hidden faucet from his coat "Shall we get started?"

**Translations: Россия ждет меня . спокойной ночи Латвии ~** **Russia is expecting me. good night Latvia.**

**Ok! So hey yeah… that was shorter than intended but I wanted to ask how many of you would read this if it turned slash. :P idk anyhow I'll try to update a lot faster than this in the future. Reviews and suggestions keep me going! And I take prompts! **


	6. Morning

**OK, so its been a good mm... Seven months since i updated this story. sorry... i honestly don't know how many of you actually car that it took that long but someone reviewed recently and it was kind of a "yo bitch you got a story with no ending!" so i was like "oh... yeah... fuck" so sorry it took me seven months. i have no excuse. not even a longer chapter or anything eh. **

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><p>I woke up the next morning in a puddle of red. Blood. Mine? Probably. It was always like this. I come in in the middle of the night, he has his way with me and at some point before he's done I black out only to wake up in the scarlet all over again. It's a cycle and I hate it. It's depressing knowing I have to be at his beck and call. But it's for Latvia. Little Latvia couldn't endure this. One whipping and the kid was out cold. Little Latvia, my Latvia…<p>

I should clean this up. He doesn't like to see the aftermath of his destruction, it saddens him. Russia. He hates to see people unhappy, he does, but he worries that our happiness will drive us away from him. He was such a bullied little country. I watched as he grew and I shrunk. He didn't want anyone to be bullied like he was but, what with his upbringing, the only way he knows how to keep people close is to give them no escape. Force them to stay by whatever means necessary. I understand that. Latvia, Estonia, and Poland? Not so much. They have the misfortune of only seeing him as a heartless brute, which, I guess, in a way, is what he has become. But it's not his fault. If I had to put blame on someone it would be on Mongolia or General Winter or-or Prussia! Prussia… where the hell is Prussia? Doesn't matter does it? No, I suppose not. If he's here he's screwed if he's not he's screwed. Let's face it Prussia is a mess. But nevermind him. He's not going to help me clean up the room before Ivan wakes up.

I tried to pry myself off the floor only to fall back at a sudden pain shooting up the right side of my back. I don't know what I was expecting. It's always like this. My second attempt was more successful. I managed to get myself into a standing position and in under an hour I had the floor as spotless as it was going to get leaving only a red hue where the pool once resided. Satisfied with my work I left the room as quietly as I could and hobbled to the nearest bathroom to tend to my wounds. I cleaned them out, bandaged, even stitched when necessary, taking care to disinfect every one in high hopes of preventing another infection.

With a sigh I began the long trek up to the room we Baltics shared, dreading my inevitable reunion with Latvia. Using the wall as a crutch, something I won't have the luxury of doing once Ivan wakes up. If he sees I am unwell it will draw unwanted attention, and if he knows he caused it it'll cause even more unwanted tantrums.

Finally I made it to the room and was pleased to find that both of my comrades were already up. Latvia must've recovered faster than expected. Either way I was glad they wouldn't have to see the brunt of my injuries and I could change in peace. Gritting thorough the pain I managed to get a new uniform on and the old one thrown in the hamper.

Stopping before the closed door I mentally steadied myself for what was sure to be a trying day. Taking a deep breath I set my face in a forced smile and plunged into what was sure to be the worst day of my life.

*Hetalia*

"Ugh!" I grunted as I felt something prod me from the side "Stop!" I swatted at it only half conscious. "Cut it out!"

"Latvia! Come on! You got off easy yesterday but you actually have work to do! Remember?"

"Ugh, Estonia. Five more minutes?"

"No. we have to get started. Mr. Russia will be pissed if breakfast isn't on the table when he wakes up."

"So? Toris'll do it"

"Oh will he? I, for one, haven't seen him all night so I wouldn't be expecting him to be of much help! And I would think after what happened yesterday you'd be a little more weary of making Mr. Russia upset!"

He was right. I hate him for it but he was right. I couldn't take any more. I'd have to keep my mouth shut today, that's for sure. On the bright side Toris was M.I.A.! Wait… no that's awful I shouldn't be happy about that. Sighing I pushed myself up and with help from Estonia managed to get to my feet. "Fine. But I don't want to pick up any of Toris's slack."

It took a while but Estonia finally managed to help me into a clean uniform and get my hair in a somewhat presentable state, then off we went to the kitchen to cook. Well Estonia was cooking. I'm not allowed to touch the stove most of the time. Bad things happen when I'm near fire. He was making an oatmeal of sorts and it looked disgusting. I found myself wishing Toris would show up if not just to make an edible breakfast. I love, Edward. I do but there's a reason Toris does the cooking, and he, the book keeping. We each have our respective fields of use and stick to them. One more reason to be pissed that Toris is skipping out on breakfast duty.

Finding myself practically useless in the kitchen I began the oh so daunting task of setting the table. I had a few scares but actually managed not to drop anything, a major accomplishment in the eyes of those whom have come to know me. Satisfied with my work in the dining room I stumbled back to the kitchen to see how Estonia was doing on the gruel he was cooking. Upon opening the door, however I was met with a mop of brown rather than blonde upon the head of the cook.

"Lithuania?" I asked aghast. "What- Where's Estonia?"

He turned to me and I froze. He looked horrible. There was bandage on his right cheek, dark circles under his yes, bruising around the neck, and worst of all a smile playing on his lips as if oblivious to his current physical state.

"Oh… Latvia. He's upstairs bringing morning tea to Mr. Russia." You could cut the tension with a knife. He knew what was wrong, I knew what was wrong but for some reason neither of us wanted to mention for fear of worrying the other. So there we stood, eyes locked waiting for the other to make the first move. Our gaze broke as Estonia entered the room throwing us odd glances as he informed us that Russia was at the table. I felt him usher me into the dining room in a daze. Seeing Toris like that really shook me up more than I'm willing to admit. And now I had to sit there like nothing was wrong at a table with my love in shambles and the man who made it that way.

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><p><strong>well so its summer soon so it wont be seven months but if you actually want me to keep this going just remind me? i forget. like not even a review just tell me to write. i dont even care if you like it or not just send me a "FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED!" and ill be forever in your debt. thanks for sticking with it those of you who did. means a lot :). <strong>


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